For nearly all my life, certainly since teen years, I’ve been on a quest to find “The One”. You know, that very special someone who has all the right qualities, who would adore me as much as I adored her, and who would make me happy for the rest of my life. Often this is referred to as the search for our “Soulmate”, suggesting that there’s only one person who we are meant to spend our life with.
Why is this quest so important to our health and happiness? How do we do it successfully?
I searched as best I could. There were no “how to” books or classes to show me how to be successful at this, so I just tried on one relationship after another until one of us realized that this was not “The One”.
Then, when I was 24, I married a smart, beautiful young woman who surely was “The One”. Somewhere around the 10th year I realized we were not on the same page with several important issues …and there was little hope that would change. We stuck it out for a total of 15 years …for the children.
I was nearly 40, out on the search again, but this time doing it a little smarter. I started looking inside myself as never before, reading self-improvement books and immersing myself in many “self-improvement” classes. This proved to be a much better approach. Instead of searching “out there”, l was attracting her to me by becoming the person I was searching for.
Still, it took another 12 years (plus another failed marriage) before I could allow “The One” to be in my life. Victoria was not what I expected nor was I who she expected. In fact, if we had been looking at dating sites, we both would quite likely have passed on the other’s profile.
The point is, even though I stumbled a lot, went through lots of pain and frustration, it was worth it. I have a magical relationship with Victoria that is better than any I could imagine.
And, I’m convinced you can have this too. The internet is loaded with guidance that can help you be where you want to be. Check out this article titled: 8 Things to Figure Out Before You Can Have True Love.
You can also use this to make your current relationship much better (if your partner is willing).
Victoria and I regularly use a 15 minute guided meditation on relationship to remind us how to improve and get the most value from ours.
Check it out and please give me your feedback.